• rachaelkool

Stinkin' Thinkin': Feeling overwhelmed in your day

Magnifying is a type of thinking that takes away from your confidence and self-esteem.  When you magnify, you intensify a problem out of proportion to its actual importance.  Minor suggestions become harsh criticism.  Slight headaches become a brain tumor.  A sore tooth becomes my teeth are falling out.  Minor setbacks become cause for despair.  A great way to catch yourself magnifying is to pay attention for words like "huge," "impossible," and "overwhelming."  The most common phrase is "I can't stand it."   Magnifying issues is bad enough, but the reason it takes away from your confidence is because magnifying is typically paired with minimizing.  You minimize your ability to deal with the problems you are facing. 

It is not an unusual occurrence for me to feel overwhelmed. When I feel like I have so many things to take care of and I'm struggling to decide where to start, I get that feeling... inside my bones. Ha. Friday's are my favorite day for many reasons more than it being the day right before the weekend. I'm done working for the week. I get to be at home with the kids (or at least the ones not in school). I close out my work week and get ourselves set up for the weekend. And it's pizza movie night. Don't judge ;)

Sometimes things go unplanned. "Unplanned." This word used to derail me. I would get worked up and feel like I didn't have a clue what to do or where to start anymore. All my planning went to crap and was pointless. I don't want to deal with this. I can't deal with this.

This is stinkin' thinkin' my friends. So often what we don't want to deal with, we magnify. We blow it out of proportion because it isn't what we want to do that day or spend our time on. I also believed I was a planner, so if my day got up-ended, there is no more plan. No plan = chaos.

I realized this stinkin' thinkin' wasn't working for me so well anymore when I became a parent. If you are a parent, you are very aware that almost nothing goes as planned. Like the time my kid climbed up on the coffee table and peed on it in front of my friends. Cool.

Take these thoughts captive. Lock em up and question them. They are false because chances are, you can handle pretty much everything thrown at you. You may not do it with as much grace as you are hoping, but hey, it will make a great story to tell someone later. And sometimes.... things go better than you could have planned. The best way to help yourself correct this type of thinking is to remind yourself of the times you have overcome problems and focus on your ability to handle most problems you come across.  Attempting to focus on the solution instead of the problem is key!  Also, not allowing your emotions to get the best of you.  Try asking yourself, "If I had to rate my emotion on a scale of 0 - 10, what would I rate how I feel?  Is this an appropriate level of intensity for this type of situation?  If I experienced this on a different day in different circumstances, would it be different? How can I offer myself grace for what is happening right now?" Happy thinking!

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